I ran into this quote while looking into the term "courtesy", and had to chuckle:
"One day a man gave up his seat on a bus to a lady. She fainted. On recovering, she thanked him. Then he fainted." (Michael A. Guido)
I am sorry to see that common courtesy seems so hard to find these days. Yesterday, I was carrying two computer bags, and a case full of boxes with parts for lab projects. I managed to get the door to my school building opened without dropping anything, then saw the reflection of a woman in the glass door coming up behind me. I had the door opened, and held it for her, as I was taught to do by I do not know who, I think it was everyone around me when I grew up.
The woman breezed past me without saying a word. She did not even glance at me, just walked into the building as though this was how things were supposed to happen for her. This has happened enough in my life to start to irritate me. If it had been possible to grab her and shove her back out the door with a polite "Open the door yourself!" I might have been inclined to do that. Sometimes, I do say "You are welcome!" loud enough for the other person to hear (it could just as likely be a man as well). It never matters, they ignore the comment, if they even hear it.
What is wrong with these people? I am convinced we are far too centered on ourselves, and not thinking of others much, if at all. This seems especially true of those who walk everywhere with their eyes glued to a smart phone, barely noticing the chaos around them as they walk through intersections barely avoiding being killed by passing cars.
Courtesy is just recognizing that others are around you, and doing something to make their lives better, for no other reason than simple kindness. Being courteous is not about doing something for personal gain, it is simply helping others, and showing some respect for them as human beings. It does require getting your face out of your phone any paying attention to your surroundings, though. (I always wait for someone to walk into a wall or a tree while focused so intently on their phones!)
Military Courtesy
In the military there is something called "military courtesy". The most obvious form of this is the salute given by lower ranking members of the service to higher ranking members. It is a sign of respect for their higher position in the service, and the salute is returned as a sign of respect for the lower ranking member. It is a simple, but honorable tradition. Military members wear their rank on their uniforms so others will know their position in the service (although this is often not done on the battlefield, for obvious reasons).
Cheryl always gets a kick out of seeing the guards at an Air Force base salute me when they inspect my ID card as we enter the base, I am proud of this tradition, and return the salute, even though I have been retired for over 20 years.
Military courtesy also includes spoken traditions as well. Higher ranking male members are always addressed as "Sir". Lower ranking men are often addressed as "Mister". Women are addressed as "Ma'am". I have no idea how we were supposed to address lower ranking women, so we usually referred to them by their rank. (This always felt a bit strange to me, for some reason. But women in the military were not that common when I entered the service, something that is definitely not true today!)
The courtesies that are part of the military tradition help bond these people together, and generate a connection that is unbreakable. As soon as I know I am speaking to someone who has served in the military, my whole feeling changes. I know where they have been, and they know where I have been. And, we both know why!
Service to Others
We joined the service to do just that: to serve! Our profession was one of defending our fellow countrymen, and we all knew that could lead to the ultimate sacrifice. We swore an oath to do just that as we entered the service.
The military is not the only place where the duty of the occupation is service to others. Anyone who wears a uniform obviously is another example. Members of the Police, or those in Fire Departments are examples as well. Same thing for teachers, and those who work in the non-profit world. Anyone who works for the good of others is special in this world, and deserves some small measure of respect for what they do, although they seldom ask for anything. I once thought a proper redress from a member of the military to anyone lacking in respect for this country and what it stands for would be:
I will defend your right to be an idiot to the death!
Sadly, many in the service feel this way when they see the disrespect for the Flag, or our Country that some folks exhibit in their actions.
Heroism
At the other end of the spectrum, courtesy takes on a form that is nothing short of astounding. In a split second, there are those who charge into action with not a single thought of the consequences to themselves to help others. I received a message from Military.com today about a campaign to award the Medal of Honor to Sgt 1st Class Alwyn Cashe, who jumped into a burning vehicle in Afghanistan in 2005 while his own uniform was on fire. He pulled out six badly injured soldiers. Sgt Cashe was seriously burned in the action, and was transferred to a hospital in Texas. When he awoke, his first words were asking about his men, and he was saddened to learn that many had died. He, himself, died later that week, in the company of his family.
I have met such heroes before, and it is a humbling experience th hear what they did to earn their awards. (see Veterans Day).
Closing Arguments
Hey folks, show some simple respect to each other. If someone does something nice for you, acknowledge that action with a simple "thank you!" It costs you nothing and earns you everything!
Or else, I am going to invent a device that disables the door closing mechanism so it hits you in the rear as you ignore your way past someone doing something nice for you!
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