Today I start a post-stroke life. Suddenly the questions become different. Strokes are sudden, often no-warning, events. You do not really have much to say about when or if they will hit. We will be working with our doctors to come up with a plan of attack.
How to Live
So you need to ask yourself how you will live with this new issue.
Some will cave in and focus on the worst case: I might die at any moment, I better get what I can from this life.
Others will try to be the best humans they can be, accomplish the most they can in whatever time they have left.
I know my plan. But I have decisions to make.
Core Values
A popular topic in church is "Why am I here?" Good question. You live your life according to values you hold most dear to you. I am definitely not happy with the core values I see in many these days. Where did they come from? Here are a few easy targets:
ISIS, etc.
On what planet does it make sense to kill those who do not follow your god. I am not going to capitalize that word, as I cannot imagine that any real religion supports such actions. Those who say we should keep our troops at home when the world is facing a danger of this kind are just naive. They obviously learned nothing from WWII, when this kind of insanity threatened the entire world.
Politicians
It is certainly not fair to label all politicians as bad people. I am sure many have values like mine. But far too many seem to focus on doing and saying whatever it takes to get or keep an important position. And so many of them basically say this:
"I know the right way for you to live your life. You should listen to me, because I am clearly smarter than you. Doing what I say will obviously be better."
For whom?
Just because you have an "opinion" on something does not make any other opinion invalid. A real politician will work to get the best results in the face of a world of different opinions. They will use their core values to guide their decisions and listen to those who supported them in getting into office. They will not just follow the "party line". As a group, (an entire group, not just a party group), they will really work to make our world safe and our futures better. Get good at that, and I will vote for you!
Sorry, but I am hard pressed to see much good in any of the candidates I see on TV these days. My solution is simple:
I am starting a write-in campaign to elect Bob Villa President (sorry, I am that old). He will spend four years in the White House renovating it, and we will get something of value for his time there. I am not sure what we will get if any of the current choices end up there.
Those who know me, know I have another solution as well:
No one who has held office, run for office, or even thought about running for office in the last five years is allowed to run for office. There, we will start over with a clean slate!
Maybe this is just Caucus overload.
Dollar Chasers
Do you only focus on doing those things that will make your net worth grow? Do you focus on being a better salesman so you will make more commissions? Do you try to maneuver things to suck more money out of the stock market for your own benefit? Are your goals measured in cars, houses, toys?
I have always told my students this:
I never chased the dollar in my entire life. But every time I looked behind me there was enough money to keep me happy. I may never drive a Tesla, or one of those Maseratis I see so often in Austin. I do not care about that. I make enough to support a comfortable lifestyle for my wife and I. We actively support our church and all of its programs that help others. We are doing fine.
That brings me to my point
My Values
My core values were shaped by being a "Baby Boomer". Especially by growing up in the shadow of those who actually fought and risked everything to protect the world from the insanity of those who worked to conquer it all. My time in the Pentagon, and my time looking at the works of those who created the things I saw in the Smithsonian turned me into someone who was (and is) seeking to do things that can improve the lives of others. I am not perfect at this, but my choices in jobs have always been aimed at helping others, not seeking personal gain.
My reason for fighting to stay alive is not selfish at all. I still feel I have something to offer to help make this world better. I do value life!
My Mission
Why I am here can be seen in my choices of jobs:
There was no doubt that I was going to join the military, the question of which service was answered easily: The Air Force had the coolest airplanes! Just listening to all of those stories told by those working there, told me I was going to serve my country as well. To help protect it from that kind of harm. Every time I look out my front door at night and see the U.S. flag flying in the spotlight, I choke up, remembering why it is there, and why I chose to serve.
After that career, I tried consulting. Not for the big bucks, though. I focused on helping non-profit organizations find ways to use computers to do their work better. (Cheryl shares that value with me, she focuses on non-profit financial management, for the same reason). An odd thing. My GP works in a clinic that was one of my first consulting clients over 15 years ago. I helped them set up their first network and Internet connection. Now they take care of Cheryl and I.
Finally, for the last 15 years I have been a teacher with a simple mission:
I want my students to learn the skills they will need to make their contributions to this world.
I hope they share my values, and will work to improve the next generation of kids. I cannot control that. I do try to tell my story, and explain why I take my values seriously. I have never been satisfied with just doing my job. I am always studying my organization's mission, learning new skills, always seeking better ways to do things, and exploring new technologies. All of that is aimed at making the world a better, safer place for us all.
The Point
Why am I thinking about all of this? Well, my stroke is a wake up call. I have to decide what my mission is going to be from this point on. Do I try to continue teaching? If yes, I have to decide at what level. I may not be able to deal with a full load of classroom courses. And, if I cannot drive, Cheryl and I have to figure out how to get me where I will need to be. That will not be easy.
Do I retire? I really look forward to my time in the classroom, as frustrating as that can be when facing students who do not seem to care abut much, except getting that "A". Or dealing with those willing to cheat. Helping the ones who actually will work, who listen to what you say, and even challenge what you say. Those are the ones that keep me coming back.
I got a graduation card from a student I had several years ago saying this:
"I would not have made it here if it were not for your passion for teaching me about embedded systems"
He got a degree in Electrical Engineering from UT. Way to go!
Leaving all of that would mean my mission would change in a fundamental way. What can I do in retirement that gives me the satisfaction of feeling I am helping others?
Maybe I try my hand at writing something. I have been told my blog is good, and I should turn it into a book. Maybe that is an idea.
I also have a few ideas for some technologies I would like to develop and offer to the world. Who knows, they might be useful. Working full time, I never get the time to work on those ideas.
would also have to deal with is the significant loss of income. That is unless we tap into our retirement fund, which is in reasonable shape, but not the shape we would need to keep things exactly as they are today.
Cheryl is talking about going back into a full time job to help offset the loss if I retire. I do not want her to do that, she is ready to stop as well.
So, we face a milestone in our lives. The decision will not be made today. We still have to work through this new turn of events.
Valuing Life
I hope you noticed that I am not talking about giving up on anything. I am trying to find ways to hold onto my core values, and continue to contribute something to this world. I do value the life that I have been given, even if we do not understand why I seem to be the target of a lot of hardships at this point in time.
I am still around, upright and active. My memories seem intact, and I can see well enough to read and write. I want to spend quality time with Cheryl and we both have things we have wanted to do our whole lives, while we both struggled to make other lives better. It is our turn to explore this world more, and see things we have always wanted to see.
If I have to give up my ride in my cherished F4 Phantom II, maybe we will go sit in the Ufrizzi in Florence instead. I was planning on doing that on our 20th anniversary, but maybe we will do it early.
Do you value your life? Do you value the lives of others? If not, why not? If so, good for you!
Reset
Life has no reset button. You have to deal with the life you are given. Be grateful for that life, and work to deserve it. Work to be respected by those you help, not respected for the toys you posses.
I expect to keep on working to contribute. I am just not sure how that will happen.
So, we wait to hear from doctors. Then we will have to decide.
Comments
There are no comments yet.