Well, we had the meeting we never wanted to have today. Cheryl and I met with my primary doctor who delivered news we did not want to hear. So, I get to experience another defining moment in my life. No, make that we get to experience a defining moment in our lives. We will go through this together!
I wrote earlier about a defining moment early in my life, one that shaped who I was to become. That moment started me on a path through the adventure that has been my life. One of exploring the world around me, learning how much of it worked, working hard to keep that world safe, and lately, one of trying to help others have as wonderful a time as I have had.
Cheryl sat with me in a class tonight, and listened while I did a test review in my favorite course. She commented later that I was having a great time, and the students were with me in that experience, talking, joking, reliving what we were trying to learn in that class. I hope so, I will test them on all that in a couple of days. Just to cap the evening off, the class ended in a late night fire drill. I sure needed that to cap the day.
So, how is this a defining moment?
The person you are deep inside is in charge of your life. You can run from your troubles, blame them on anyone else, even God, or you can take a deep breath, and decide to fight.
As my radiation doctor said in the plaque he gave me when I finished my treatments five years ago: "Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway" (Thank John Wayne for that one). Well, that about sums things up. I am at one of those moments.
Cheryl and I have some decisions to make, ones that will determining how our lives proceed from here. It looks like my cancer is back, and, as my doctor put it, it is pissed off. What that means is that the treatments I did earlier were as good as I can get, anything from here will not work as well. So the prognosis is uncertain at best. I can do nothing, or let my doctor try to remove it again. As he put it, this will be brutal.
I am not one to quit. I may want to hide from it, but I will face it and see what happens. I could just sulk off and wait for whatever happens, but instead I am certain I will fight the best way I can.
What it all means remains to be seen. For now, we wait for confirmation of what the doctor is sure to come. After that, we get to decide how we will live our lives from this point on. My family and friends are getting charged up as my support system, and I have my faith in God and all of them to help us through. We will do the best we can.
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