When you have Cancer, surviving five years is a big deal. If you are cancer-free for five years, you are considered "cured". Well, that is a nice idea, but.....
My Five Year tests
This week was to be my five year anniversary. I was scheduled for my CAT scan to confirm that I had no issues, then I would move to annual checks to make sure nothing was happening. That was the plan, anyway.
I went in for my CAT scan this Wednesday, and survived another dose of the contrast dye they inject into your system. It feels hot, and makes you want to gag when you are run through the machine. I got through all that, and began to wait to see what the scan showed. The next morning, my Oncologist, called to tell me that there was a shadow around my cheek that caused them concern. He said he had talked this over with my primary doctor and they wanted me to get a PET scan, which is much more definitive as soon as possible. This was definitely not what I wanted to hear!
I have been feeling like something was off in that area few a couple of months, but told myself it was seasonal allergy problems I tend to get this time of year in Texas. However, my vision in my left eye was being affected, so I was concerned about it. When my doctor said there was something going on in that area, my mind raced to the worst-case possibility, IT was back!
My surgeon called the next day to talk about what he saw, and to ask if I had pain or bleeding in that area. All I could tell him was that I thought I had normal allergy related headaches and pain that could be a sinus infection. We will reconvene after the PET scan which is scheduled for next week.
Dealing with uncertainty
Of course, all this is cause for sleepless nights. I had hoped I was done with all this and just had to live with a mouth that would not open much. But now, things look different. Survival is in question, and I am not happy to relive all that doubt. So, off we go again.
The hardest part of this current situation is waiting until time to take the test. Then comes the most difficult wait of all, waiting for the doctor's to report what they found. I will struggle through a week of this before I know anything new.
It is what it is, and feeling morose about all this will do no one any good. So, we have yet another adventure to go through. My wife, bless her, has already fired up the Church prayer chain, so I have a lot of support as we both go through this. I sometimes find myself forgetting that she is in this with me.
Cheryl, we will get through this! I love you and am so grateful for your support.
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